He gives us the lowdown on his team-mates' skills - both on and off the pitch.
He’s a really good shot-stopper and is turning himself into an attacking threat with his throwing, which goes right to your feet every time. Dan’s one of my best mates and we do a lot of training together in Exeter so he almost acts as a coach for me as well.
I don’t really know what else I can say about him that’s publishable, which is the case for a few of our lads. He’s certainly one for the ladies. I don’t know whether you’d class him as a smooth operator, but he’s definitely an operator.
Another top-quality keeper. Like Dan, he makes some unbelievable saves. They are getting the ball pinged at them from four or five yards and their reactions are second to none. Lewis is a bit 1980s in his approach - he lets you know in no uncertain terms if you do something he’s not happy with.
Off the pitch he’s really chilled out. There’s always some pretty terrible music coming from his room, mostly rap. And he’s got a mischievous sense of humour. He’s always doing little things to bug you like coming up to you, poking you and then running off.
He can certainly knock out a tune on the piano - Robin Williams on Dave Clarke
Dave’s so big-time now that I don’t really need to say anything. He’s the only squad member to have his own Wikipedia page. I think he averages just under a goal a game and like a fine wine, he’s getting better with age. He’s a calming influence if something goes wrong and he’s good to have around off the pitch too.
Whenever we go away Dave's main concern is the quality of the Wifi. If it’s bad, you won’t hear the end of it. He’s one of those people who makes you jealous because he can turn his hand to anything, and he can certainly knock out a tune on the piano.
Dan’s about 6ft 4in. He’s quite a lot bigger than most of us and it takes a lot to get the ball off him. If I ever run into him there’s only one place I’m going and that’s backwards. He’s getting pretty deadly from the penalty spot too. When he puts his foot through the ball, it stays hit.
Dan’s got a booming voice and you’re never unsure of his whereabouts. There’s no need to take an alarm clock on tour because about half an hour before we’re due to get up, he’s always outside in the corridor shouting.
Certainly the best athlete in our squad in terms of his physical conditioning. He’s only a little guy, but he’s really strong. I don’t know how he does it, but he always manages to bundle through people and end up with the ball.
He’s probably the most accurate in his shooting. It’s really unusual for a blind person to be able to hit a decent strike with the outside of the foot, but he’s got that down to a fine art.
Off the pitch he’s a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. He competed at the Beijing Paralympics in judo and lasted about 50 seconds in the first round, so we like to remind him whenever we can.
If we had eight Keryns in the squad it would be a nightmare - Robin Williams on Keryn Seal
Certainly our best defensive player technically. Not a lot gets through him and he's not too bad going forward either. Until relatively recently his issue was controlling his temperament but he’s worked really hard and you can see the difference that has made.
Off the pitch he’s a bit of a tearaway. He’s got a really sharp sense of humour and will always find an angle to take the mick out of you. If we had eight Keryns in the squad it would be a bit of a nightmare. He’s very fashion-conscious and will turn up to training with gel in his hair.
At 18, Lee’s the youngest member of the squad. He’s got an unbelievable first touch and his passing’s pretty spot-on. For a lot of us the first touch is one of the things we find most difficult but he can take a ball out of the air on one bounce from 30 yards away. Give him a couple of years to work on the attacking side of his game and he will be one of the best players in the world.
Lee’s so quiet it’s become a bit of a joke within the squad. He often shares a room with Dan English and if you’re walking past you will hear some terrible music.
Will is probably the brightest member of the squad – a real thinker. He did a degree in philosophy and you can certainly tell. He loves to pontificate about different political systems and philosophical ideas, and he likes talking about the game. He’s a more defensively minded player but he’s also good holding it up on the wing and getting the ball into the right spaces.
Off the pitch, Will and Keryn are a bit of a double act. It’s best not to give him too much of an opportunity to take the mick out of you, or you won’t hear the end of it for a couple of hours.
Another fairly new member of the squad. He’s worked very hard and has come a long way in a relatively short space of time. Roy used to do a lot of athletics and he’s very nimble on his feet. He’s a good defender and he’s getting a lot better coming forward. He’s another one with a lot of potential.
Roy’s big into his music. He’s in a band – rock-type stuff, I think - and plays all sorts of instruments. He will often bring his guitar to a training weekend and have a bit of a jam so he’s good to have around.
I play on the wing and I’m probably the quickest on the ball in the squad. I’ve worked really hard on that, possibly to the detriment of some of the other skills, but my shooting is getting better all the time.
I’d like to think I’m pretty chilled out and get on with most people. I’m one of the more academically minded people in the squad – I’m doing a maths PhD – so I have a tendency to analyse things to death a bit. Their favourite nickname for me is 'Rainman'.
- C4Paralympics' 60-second guide to five-a-side football